Wednesday Update

Hi blogging friends. ML is still in the hospital 9 days later. In the past few days they have been trying to diagnose the reason for her fever and all the pain. They have narrowed it down to an abscess her abdomen and a bladder infection. She has been on a antibiotic drip for 2 days but nothing has really changed. They will do another xray today to see what is happening. The nurses have been not as attentive so that has been a huge source of frustration for her. Also, her ileostomy bag has modernized and no one really knows how to attach it correctly. She thinks that she has a handle on it now, but the nurses for sure need training. God is in control in the midst of all of this and she will pull through. The journey is just a little harder than she expected, but she is learning a great deal about patience which I am sure she will you in on later. Please pray that she can make it through the thanksgiving holiday joy and hope that she is on the road to healing.

Sunday Update

At hospital with ML~She is about the same as yesterday except her fever is coming and going. They think she possibly has a abscess but will have to do a CT scan tomororw to verify. If this is the case, they will need to drain it from abdomen. It seems that she has been on a rollar coaster physically, one minute great but the next bad. She will probably not go home tomorrow, but she is okay with that since she wants to be doing well went sent home. She cherishes all the prayers! Thanks for checking in!

Saturday Update

Hi friends. I am hanging out with ML tonight so I have a little more scoop on what is going on. She had a really rough morning. She took a shower and then her body started shivering uncontrollably and tensing up. She started to get a fever which she still has tonight. She had a xray and had some blood cultures taken to see if there was any sign of infection and to see where the pain is coming from. She had some physical therapy on her arm today and it is doing a little better. Please pray for her because she is discouraged and feels like everything is out of control. I keep reminding her that God is in control, and will not leave her. She will get past this!-Michelle

Friday Update

The doctors are trying to manage pain medication for ML. There is speculation that she has been given too much pain medication and that has made her feel bad. Also there earlier there was so much pressure that her stomach area was really hard like she was pregnant. It seems to be better and she has walked two laps in her area. (She might have pushed herself too much in competition with the younger patient in her area! Ha ha!)   She was visited by the neurologist today and  is having physical therapy on her arm tomorrow. There is not yet a clear diagnosis on the problem.  I am going to visit her tomorrow so I will have more updates.

Right Arm

Merry Lynn is still is a lot of pain. She is really worried about her right arm because she has no feeling in it and has little control. The doctor has not seen this before, so they are sending in a neurologist. They think it might be the way she was laying on it in surgery but after 48 hours it should be better. She had her first soft foods, but it is making her feel sick. She will not be released from the hospital until these things are better. Her energy level is very low, but she still is attempting to take steps.  Please pray for her spirits and more importantly that the doctors can find what is happening to her right arm. I think this is more disturbing to her than the surgery itself. -Michelle

Pain Management

ML is dressed in normal pj's and the catheter is out, but she is still in immense pain. She will not be released tomorrow, as expected, due to the pain. God we know that you are the great healer, please strengthen Merry Lynn. When we are weak... YOU ARE STRONG! 2 Corinthians 12:10

Prayer Answered

ML had a long enough small intestine and it can be hooked up to the internal j-pouch! This means that the external pouch is temporary! God is so good! 

Out of Bed

ML, after lots of pain and vomiting last night, attempted her first steps today. She has a will!! She is still in lots of pain, but moving forward and even sat in a chair. Let's continue to pray for her recovery today!

ML is out of surgery and in recovery. The doctor said everything went well. I will hopefully have more details later.  Let's pray for her recovery that she will wake up with the same peace and that she will not freak out with things attached to her. God, please give her a supernatural peace when she wakes up and give her clarity of mind to think of blessings her life instead of the aftermath of the surgery.

 Thank you so much for praying!!-Michelle

Still in Surgery

She is still in surgery. Going on 7 hours. Nurse says things are fine. We know that some of these surgeries have taken 9 hours so that gives comfort. Pray peace for Lance and her family.

In Surgery

ML went into surgery at 8:30 as scheduled. They are hoping that she will be out by lunchtime. Will keep you posted.

At the Hospital

Hi blogger friends, this is ML's neighbor Michelle. I will be updating through the morning. ML is at the hospital and being prepped as I type this. She is surprisingly calm, but she did mention that she was starting to get a little nervous. Let's pray that God will sustain the calmness in her spirit and that she will close her eyes with the recgonition that He is in control and that he knew the plan for her life even before she was born...that she remembers ALL that He has blessed her with even though she struggles with her earthly body. Let's also pray that God gives wisdom to the doctors and clarity of mind.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind!" II Timothy 1:7

"God us is our refuge and STRENGTH, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

Final hours

I am calm, much calmer than I thought I would be.
I can only attribute that to prayer. Mine but mainly that of so many others. Others that have prayed over me and for me.
I thank you. My heart is deeply touched!

I wanted to share with you the words to a song that has revealed itself to me. I am in love with it and it has come to me on days when I needed it most. It drove me crazy because I thought to take note of it and didn't. Not until today. Some of you may know it. It is by JJ Heller.

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands


I know God will not leave me. Again I thank you for all your prayers and I go to sleep with a peace about me.

48 hours

The clock is ticking away. My mom arrives today. Yahoo. But it's not as exciting as it would be if she was just coming for a regular ole visit.
Am I nervous....kinda. I feel confident in my Doctor and that the Lord will see me through.
What I think I am most nervous at this point right now about is leaving my babies on Tuesday morning for three days possibly more if I have to stay longer. Travis is sick, Campbell could get it (cold). They both have never really been away from Mommy. Yes, there was the time Travis was born but she was little not even 17 months, so she doesn't recall any of it. Now she is three, Travis is almost two. I feel my presence will be missed. I am nervous for them. NOT because they wont be alright with Nana because they will be more than fine. Just nervous for them not understanding where Mommy is and Daddy being gone too. That they wont understand that Mommy wont be herself for some time after returning home. They are too little to understand. They are too little to ask God to be with them during this time because they don't know what this time consists of. So I am nervous. I am nervous for my little children.

So if I could please ask you to keep them in your prayers. This mommy would be so grateful!

ONE WEEK.

I have one week. One week until I am sliced open and parts are removed from my body. One week until an appliance makes my body it's home for 12 weeks. One week until my life changes so drastically. One week to pick my kids up, roll around on the floor with them and have them climb all over me. One week to be really "real" in an intimate way with my husband and not feel like less of a person. One week to run around and do what I want. LESS than one week to eat anything and everything that I want. One week to look at myself in the mirror or undress w/o feeling as if I am subhuman. One week to get odds and ends in order. One week to be completely overwhelmed with all that I have on my plate in the non surgery side of my life......I wouldn't have it any other way. One week. One week. One. Week.

Earlier I was told to not count down the days but rather make them count. I think that might be the best advice I have received so far today. So let's see just how I can make them count.
First off I need to continue to give it all to God as when I do I feel so much better. After all I am not in control and try to remind myself daily of this. I need to play. Play with my husband, kids, mom when she gets here on Sunday and with my friends in the mean time. I need to appreciate all that I have. I have been blessed and I should be SO thankful.

So as I try to make the most of my ONE WEEK. To really make it count. I ask you....how are you making this week count? This ONE WEEK.

Counseling

I had another round of pre-surgery counseling and I was so happy to go and felt so good leaving.

"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." John 14:18 (KJV)

Thinking and dwelling on those words tonight.

If you need to do the same, feel free.

hard to believe

It is hard to believe that in two weeks I will have been 24 hours post surgery.
I am feeling much more at ease than in September prior to my original surgery date.
I am choosing not to fear this. This is a miracle that was placed before me back in June.
I could have not gotten the colonoscopy right? I could still not know that there is a very high chance that I was on my way to developing cancer. So I am choosing not to place blame but rather be thankful for the blessings that I have been given during this portion of time in my life. I continue to focus on the fact that God will not forsake me. He is with me constantly. I have made a decision to give it all to HIM. Is this hard? Yes. Yes, there are still moments when I want to cry and blame God for this speed bump. But I must keep moving forward knowing, really knowing that God did not "do" this too me. God will heal me with the knowledge he has in trusted to doctors and other medical caregivers. God will heal me.
ML

November 1st

It's November 1st, 2009

In 17 days I will have my surgery.
I am walking with God at this very moment....I know I do always but it is more "real" to me that he is with me. I guess it's true that when you are sick or hurt you find "more" in your friends. The song what a friend I have in Jesus comes to mind.

So as I get closer I am going to find comfort in the thought that He will never leave me.

Happy November everyone....make it one to remember.
I don't think I will ever forget November 2009.