Today

So today I went off to meet with Dr. B my OBGYN. It was a nice visit and I got some things answered that set my mind at ease.

1. That he has cared for mommies to be that either had a illeostomy or a j pouch.
2. He did let me know that a little "help" might be needed because the biggest issue when it came to the surgery and the fertility would be that the ovaries might be hugged a little tightly by some scar tissue. OK so he didn't use the word "hugged" but I thought it explained it best.
3. That he had used Dr. P (which is the first doctor that I met) personally for a surgery he had to have on his colon. This put me at ease because to be honest I wasn't so thrilled with Dr. P because there were no warm fuzzies but when Dr. B made a statement like "he's a lot like me" I reflected at that very moment and remembered that I didn't like my now beloved Dr. B the first time I met him. Funny, how this might all work out.
4. He told me that if I was using a hormonal birth control method at this time, to stop due to the complications it might have on a major surgery. Mainly the potential for blood clots.
5. That he was sorry that I had to go through such a thing but that I shouldn't give up hope for another child(ren) in our future.

This visit was wonderful. It was great to have this one on one time with a doctor who truly made me feel like he was my dad or a good friend. Someone who had my best interest at heart. Telling me what to ask and what to look for. Reminding me of things like how lucky I was to have had this colonoscopy and that the high grade dysplasia was found in time. To be thankful for the two beautiful babies I already had but not to lose site on what might keep me going during a really hard time. Meaning that if I have a dream to be a mommy again after this surgery that I should pray on it, will it out into the universe. What ever I "needed" to do to stay positive. He also reminded me that sometimes women aren't so lucky and are diagnosed well after the fact and aren't around to raise a new born baby because their cancer developed while they were pregnant and that the patient had no idea prior to conception. Oh can you imagine. Actually I can. My best friend dealt with something similar to that in her family. Oh how my heart breaks to think of a child/mom/family being pulled away from each other by cancer.

So now I go to bed thinking should I go visit Dr. H which is the third surgeon I have set up to interview....he is in the medical center. Or do I go with Dr. P because now I actually know someone that he treated. Besides the fact that he has a great medical schooling background and is advanced in his practice and skilled in his career. Or should I go with Dr. A who had great bed side manner and put me at ease. Oh the decisions that need to be made. I also have been given a clearance to go to MD. Anderson Cancer center, so should I go there and see. I really don't think the end result will change. It's just a selection of who will do the surgery. I am pretty sure my insurance company is going to wonder why I am going to so many doctors. Oh the bills that will come to my mail box. Yikes.

Well off to bed. I can now rest, I think my little anti anxiety medication is starting to kick in. Yes, I got a little "help" in that area as I was going a bit crazy with all of this. Hopefully once the surgeon is selected I will be less type A about this whole ordeal.

Night, night.
ML