So I have been mentally sound with the idea that my surgery is scheduled for October 13th. Knowing that it was a possibility that tomorrow Dr. H could reset the day didn't seem to phase me too much because I was fine, just fine with the 13th. BUT then....then I went over an email my husband sent me about open enrollment for our benefits and it said that the new insurance calendar year starts October 1st.
October 1st.....OH SHIT!
October 1st and October 13th don't jive.
The surgery would have to be pushed up and not by Dr. H but by, by ME!!!
OH SHIT!
I was up last night in the middle of the night for close to two hours having a panic attack. I wanted to just cry. I wanted to wake my husband up in the middle of the night and cry. But I didn't. I stewed, I fussed, I rolled over and over. I felt like my hands and legs were twitching and I couldn't stop. My mind was running and I couldn't catch up. I really wanted to not be the only one up but I was. I just couldn't wake him besides I was sleeping upstairs in the guest room/office due to the fact that for the last two nights my husband was snoring like a bear and I couldn't sleep. Oh three nights with little sleep you can imagine how tired I was today.
I don't recall when I dozed off I just remember being awoke by a little voice saying "Mommy, I have to go pee, pee."
So today in my fog of a state I called the insurance to double check and sure enough a new calendar year starts October 1st and with it comes new deductibles to be met. So the agent kindly said "it would be crazy not to move the date of your surgery up."
Goodness can't a girl catch a break.
So sooner is September and tomorrow we will find out what the new date will be.
Stay tuned and goodnight.
ML
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That's such a headache for you! I had the opposite problem of having to push back my surgery date, so I had time to get anxious and then have to wait longer. I totally understand the anxiety. The last couple of weeks before my surgery that's all I could think about or talk about. I suggest talking to your doctor about some type of anxiety medication, or as I like to refer to as chemical "f*$% it". It may help calm the nerves. Good luck! I think you'll be amazed at how you'll feel after the surgery. The worst part for me so far has been just getting worn out easily. Are you having a laproscopic surgery?
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