a week later

Well it is a week later and life seems to be on track. We still have a hole, it is covered up but it is still there. The playroom ceiling never caved in but is peeling badly. Constant sweeping. The A/C was replaced today and man that was a big job. Not that I did it but those guys were working all day and sweating badly. It was warm here today but it is HOT in the attic! I have some dry wall guys coming for bids to repair the hole and the ceiling in playroom. Than when that is done I will get the carpets cleaned professionally. All this has been a great distraction but I have to admit that now I just have more time to worry about my new surgery date. I honestly hope I don't go through the emotions that I did leading up to Monday of last week. I was a mess. I cried so often and got mad too easily. Mainly, I cried. I cried a lot. So when the 17th of November draws closer I hope that there is less crying and certainly no remodeling or home improvements of the unapproved kind.

Praying and searching for drywall,
ML

this was what I got the eve before my birthday.

Playroom, where buckets are collecting drops of water from the ceiling.

The dripping ceiling in playroom which we are sure will give way.

Mess from the fallen ceiling as we clean up.

Her bedding was taken down right away to the washer as it was covered except where she laid her sweet self, sleeping soundly.

The hole. Doesn't look as bad in this picture but it is terrible. the air handler sits right there and I was SO scared it was going to crash right through.

Happy Birthday to me!

So today is my big day! My last year of thirtysomething!
What did I get for my birthday......a surgery postponement!!!!
While secretly I am relieved I am also not happy about the reason.
Last night our a/c decided to throw us a curve ball and part of the ceiling in Campbell's room came crashing down. Their is area that is threatening to collapse in the playroom downstairs as well.

So while we were up late last night dealing with wet drywall, carpets and an a/c that I pictured crashing all the way down from the attic. We decided that the surgery would be pushed back as there was NO way I was leaving my home in shambles, my children disrupted more than they already would have been, my mom left to deal with contractors and the like while my husband was out of town the following week from my surgery. It was just to much to bear.

So now, now we are re booked with doctor and hospital for November 17th.

I will post pictures of this hole in a while but for now I guess we wait and fix the issue at hand.
I do want to thank everyone for their prayers and thoughts, please keep them coming.

Sunday

So this morning I was all fired up to write this post about how much my life sucked and how much I hate having to have this surgery. I was really DOWN!!!!!!!

But now at days end. I do still hate having to have this surgery even though I know it is for my own good....I wont have UC anymore (surgery is only cure) and I wont have these nasty very high grade dysplasia turn into colon cancer! In fact I wont get colon cancer because my colon and rectum will be gone. But I still hate having to have it because my life will totally change. You see I am not currently suffering from my colitis so even the surgeons have said that I will be taking a step backwards when most people really sick with their UC look at the surgery as a step forward. So this, this and all the nasty little details is what gets me DOWN.

However, as I go to bed tonight I am feeling not so DOWN as I did at the start of the day.

I went to church and that always makes the dark seem brighter.
My family loves me.
My friends are wonderful.
My husband and daughter baked and frosted me the most beautiful cake.
I got a great card from my husband today.
I saw "love happens" with Michelle and my mom tonight. Good movie.
I am placing my fears onto the Lord. Isaiah 41:10

Night.

One week til it's my birthday

So we are celebrating early because in one week I will not be able to eat cake. I will not be able to enjoy a glass of wine, a margarita or champagne. I will not be able to eat my favorite foods all that day. I will not, I will not, I can not. You see I will be clear liquids only that day and as clear as some alcohol might be I wont be able to even have a sip to enjoy my ringing in of my last year of being in my 30's or to celebrate (I use that word with caution.) the surgery the very next day.
Oh the drama is building. I can feel it in my head and heart. I can imagine that y'all might think I am a bit crazy that my concern is that my birthday will SUCK this year but it's my birthday and I'll cry if I want too as the song goes. So I thought it might be fun to have you all share with me your poopiest....ha, ha! get it! birthday ever. It'll make me feel better.

Praying for a L-O-N-G small intestine!!!
ML

Wednesday will be a busy day.

So this coming Wednesday I will drive into the medical center to spend most of the day being poked and attempting to learn a little something too.

I will go in for my pre operation work up. Blood tests, physical and EKG. The nurse who booked my appointment said depending on the physical I could do some other tests too. So it is a "get there and see" type of scenario I suppose. After that is all said and done I will be heading over to the one hour surgery class. Apparently I will learn all about what will happen that day in general terms and talk to a nurse about the ileostomy. I am really hoping that they will have the bags that I have been told to use or request. Apparently they are Velcro closure or attachment and work really well.
Everyone is different and I have read some great "bag" experiences and some pretty terrible ones. I will be hoping for the best and praying that the 12 weeks with the bag go smoothly and quickly. From what I understand the biggest concern I should have is that I don't have skin break down at the stoma site. That it can be quite terrible if that area should be come infected.

My mom also arrives this day so since I will not be available and Lance will be out of town for business I will be making arrangements for her to be picked up at the airport. My very generous neighbor Michelle will be once again tending to my children along side her two. Which if you could see them together it appears as if there are two sets of twins 17 months apart. Bless the woman that ever happened too. When my mom gets to my house she will stroll over to Michelle's and visit and pick up the babies. They sure will be delighted to see her.

I am so excited to see my mom and have some fun mommy and me time prior to her baby being operated on.

So Wednesday should prove to be a busy one and I just hope it all goes well and smooth for everyone.

Two weeks out!

OK, now I am getting scared!!
I am officially two weeks out from surgery!
I think I am about to lose my mind about it. I have been anxious and nervous all day.
I couldn't quite but my finger on it but then boom it hit me.
Next Wednesday my mom arrives and that leaves me with one week.
Excuse me but I might have to go throw up now that I got that out. I feel my heart racing.

Praying,
ML

20 days

20 days until my birthday so 21 until my surgery. I keep praying for clarity and calmness, I think I am beginning to feel it as I have this resolved feeling coming over me. However, I do pray that some how I could be healed prior to the surgery. That a miracle could be preformed on me. Maybe my miracle is that I have this surgery. Maybe the miracle already happened back in June when I had my first colonoscopy with Dr. H.

So as the days start and then fade away with a new one approaching as the clock ticks down I can try to remain calm and resolved in knowing that God blessed the doctors with knowledge and that all will be well in good time.