So this morning I was all fired up to write this post about how much my life sucked and how much I hate having to have this surgery. I was really DOWN!!!!!!!
But now at days end. I do still hate having to have this surgery even though I know it is for my own good....I wont have UC anymore (surgery is only cure) and I wont have these nasty very high grade dysplasia turn into colon cancer! In fact I wont get colon cancer because my colon and rectum will be gone. But I still hate having to have it because my life will totally change. You see I am not currently suffering from my colitis so even the surgeons have said that I will be taking a step backwards when most people really sick with their UC look at the surgery as a step forward. So this, this and all the nasty little details is what gets me DOWN.
However, as I go to bed tonight I am feeling not so DOWN as I did at the start of the day.
I went to church and that always makes the dark seem brighter.
My family loves me.
My friends are wonderful.
My husband and daughter baked and frosted me the most beautiful cake.
I got a great card from my husband today.
I saw "love happens" with Michelle and my mom tonight. Good movie.
I am placing my fears onto the Lord. Isaiah 41:10
Night.
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Hoping you get some rest tonight. Praying for you, friend.
ReplyDeleteStill praying for you -- I totally understand how and why you feel the way you do!
ReplyDeleteAnd you have lots of prayers going up on your behalf. I am so thankful that you don't have cancer and are not fighting for your life! You are a precious gift to all those that know you, and if this will more or less ensure that you won't have to fight for your life down the road, the changes (both good & bad) can be a positive, even if not right now! Big HUGS!!!!
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