One word, I can't do more...right now.

Surgery.

cleaned out and checked out.

So I finally drank the stuff and well all I can say is poo poo. Yuck!

Today I went for my appointment and what should have been a 1/2 hour procedure with 1/2 hour recovery time turned into an almost 2 hour then 1/2 hour recovery. I woke up towards the end and asked them to put me back down....rather I begged! But they said they couldn't give me any more sedation. Damn it! is what I wanted to mutter. So I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

At the last colonoscopy they gave me real sleepy stuff this was more twilight. Difference, no anesthesiologist. The nurse pushed the twilight. I like the Dr type of push much better.

So this is what I learned. Dr. E took lots of biopsy's and cleaned all polyps out of my colon. He did go up into my small intestine a bit and said it looked great so I can not worry about that anymore. There are stories of people who were told they had UC and then ended up being Crohn's patients.

One particular polyp had to be "piece mealed" away. And by the pictures it sure looks like Dr. E did just that. Looks like....."OUCH!"

So what I remember him telling me is that "I did all I could. I got everything needed out. Hopefully we can save you from surgery." I craved more information but being loopy he knew I wouldn't understand much more. He told me he would see me in a week. Probably hear from him in 3 days. So now I wait. I do however have beautiful colon pictures to gaze at while I do just that.

Waiting and Praying for NO SURGERY!,
ML

Procrastinating clean out.

So here I am blogging. Reading blogs and checking Facebook, yahoo mops board and email. All the while procrastinating the worst part of the day before a colonoscopy. Drinking this terrible terrible solution that will "clean" out your insides. I have already not eaten all day, swallowed the laxatives at the assigned time, drank only clear liquids or the liquids that were on the "approved" list. Now, it's time. Ugh! I hate, hate, hate this part. Did I mention HATE!

Wish me luck on getting it down as often I fight back vomiting. Too much information.....read the disclaimer to the side.

Also, please please pray for me tonight. Please ask the great healer upstairs to spare me from surgery. Please allow for the first diagnosis to be incorrect. I so want to hear good news tomorrow when I wake from my sedated nap. Bless Dr. E with the ability to kindly break the news if there is no change and surgery is then moved up on the "to do" list. And may he sing praises to the Lord if there is Good News when I wake.

Please let my colon be dysplasia and cancer free. Amen!
ML

2nd Colonoscopy Scheduled.

So I will be going under again.....I actually don't mind the going under part....its the getting ready for the going under I don't like.
UGH the prep work for the colonoscopy is brutal! I hate every minute of it. The whole day before is just plain "shitty." No pun intended either.

OK, now that I have said my first naughty word on my blog we can all relax. After all I did post a disclaimer right? Right.

So next Wednesday I will be meeting Dr. E down at the medical center for my colonoscopy.
He has already told me that he plans on taking out the polyp that was left in my transcending colon for further inspection. His plan is to take like a million (OK so not a million but you get the picture) biopsies of my colon. He also is going to go down inside the colon and not just biopsy the top layer.
I looked a little frightened when he said that apparently so he calmly said to me with a very thick accent. "don't worry, I will be sedating you much heavier than normal." Well alrighty than, nice deep nap for this mommy. Sign me up!

So there you have it folks. Next Wednesday I might have a better picture of where my future lies. Dr. E told me he might be able to wake me and say "no surgery" or give me bad news.

Let's pray, Let's pray really hard that the news when I awake on Wednesday afternoon is "no surgery."

My colon in dysplasia and cancer free,

ML

Making things happen

So I called this morning to get an appointment with Dr. W. The doctor on the list of two that Dr. H said that I should call for a "second" opinion colonoscopy. Well this Dr. W doesn't take my insurance so I went to the second Dr. on the list. Dr. E. Dr. E, I learned takes my insurance. Dr. H thought that Dr. W and I would have more face time but I will just have to have less face time so that my insurance will cover the time I do get.

So I make the appointment with Dr. E, it was set for July 31st. Hmmm, that's a long time to wait for just a consult prior to a second colonoscopy. But Dr. H told me that would happen and that as soon as I set the appointment I was to call his nurse. Then he would push it along.

SO I call Dr. H's nurse, Nurse Jackie. Tell her the appointment time and date. She says "we'll handle it."

I get a call later, about two hours later from Dr. E's office offering me a date of the 28th...I thought to myself...that's not much better than the 31st but instead I say, I cant take that date because my son is getting tubes in his ears that day. By that way that is a true comment, not just one to get an even better date. So then all of a sudden the 22nd at 230pm pops open. I say "sold."

So I have the appointment with Dr. E. I will meet him at 230pm on the 22nd.

Dr. H has already talked with him about me so it should be short. Just basically giving me my prep assignment and the day of my colonoscopy. I am assuming this to be the case so lets see what really happens.

Till then.....My colon is dysplasia and cancer free!!!!
ML

Mind over matter.

All day I have been walking around chanting "My Colon is dysplasia and Cancer free."
Chant it with me folks...."ML's colon is dysplasia and cancer free!"

Wouldn't it be amazing if it was and I didn't have to have this surgery. At least at this stage of the game. I mean I KNOW one day my colitis will come back, one day I might get colon cancer because of this disease but wouldn't it be nice if I was spared. If I was spared at this particular stage in my life. I just really have so much I want to do right now. I feel great and to take a year of my life feeling ill just feels like I am being cheated. That my family would be cheated. Can you hear a little anger in my words. I am a bit but I am more excited at the chance of hoping I might be spared.

So I am chanting, I am visualizing, I am praying that I be spared.

"My Colon is dysplasia and Cancer free!"

ML

Dr. H calls personally

UPDATED July 18,2009 (morning)

As mentioned I had called the nurse and she said he may call me over the weekend. Well he did call only to get my voicemail because I was putting the kids to bed for the night. I listened to the message and heard him say to call the online doctor and tell him that Dr. H needs to speak with me. His message also mentioned that if I didn't talk to him until Monday that would be fine as well. Well I was not going to wait until Monday. I picked up the phone and called the on call doctor and left a message. Then the wait began. I waited and waited and no call back. Finally I decided to go to bed at 10pm and the phone rang. Lance brought it to me saying it was Dr. H.

My heart sank into my stomach as I said hello. It then began to be lifted back up into place as he spoke. He told me that I need to contact one of the following two GI's for another complete work up. As the main pathology at Methodist in the loop felt there just wasn't enough information to perform a major surgery. That we needed more to go on. I gasped. He said I was a grey zone and that he doesn't operate on grey zone patients until more information is retrieved. Dr. H also said "I don't want to get your hopes up but there is a chance that you wont need surgery." He continue to say that their are polyps and dysplasia. In UC patients it can be tricky BUT that I could just have Polyps that need to be checked on once or twice a year. My heart was dancing as it was still on the words "chance that you wont need surgery."

On Monday I will call Dr. W (one of the two doctors that he recommend that I call) to schedule the work up. Tonight I start praying that my colon be healed that it show not signs of high dysplasia that the 1st GI thought he saw and biopsied. That there just be regular ole polyps in my colon. Do you have time to pray a little pray for me on this issue. I would be grateful.

Praying,
ML




So today Dr. H rang. But didn't leave a message. I couldn't get to the phone in time as I was busy trying to get my little ones into their rooms for naps. I called back like three minutes later and this is when I found out that he called personally. My thought....NOT good news.
They told me he was now in a room with a patient that he would call back. When I didn't hear back I figured that it wasn't a big deal but that I might try calling down to his office again.
I got a hold of his nurse and she said she wasn't sure what he was going to tell me but she did know that he did talk personally to the Dr. that is reviewing my pathology and cell slides. So, Hmmm. That left me thinking that either he was calling to tell me that I need to come in....but why would he call me just for an appointment. Unless it was the "come in" for a new colonoscopy call that he told me that I might have to have if this certain Dr. reviewing my cells and pathology report from my GI didn't agree on my diagnosis. So here it is Friday night and I am pondering what the call was about. Maybe it was just to touch base....doubt it. But the nurse kindly said she would tell him that I called and mentioned that he may call me over the weekend.

I am pretty sure that I wont hear anything till Monday but till then enjoy your weekend and stay tuned.

Bracing myself,
ML

Dr. H it is!

So I have crossed into the threshold of starting a relationship with a surgeon. Yes. I have decided on a surgeon. With out further ado, I have selected Dr. H. Yes the doctor that I had to drive down twice to meet but this meeting was so worth it. I actually feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I think that I might sleep well tonight. Last night, after a child woke me who then didn't want to go back to her bed but after coaching did, this mommy then had a panic attack. One so bad that I almost got up to blog about it. But. But I decided that I would try a relaxation technique instead. It finally worked and my panic attack soon faded.
Tonight, tonight I think I will get some rest.

So back to Dr. H.
Dr H is a middle age doctor with some grey, I probably have more than him but I'll chop that up to the stress in my life. Grin.
I felt at ease, he has a great bedside manner.
He explained a lot to me, some things that were not covered by the other doctors.
I learned that not only will he be doing the surgery laparoscopically but also with a robot. Now I thought that was kinda cool. I think I might have been saying inside....Kick Ass! but didn't want to say it out loud for fear he might say oh you grew up in the 80's too.
He explained that the robot is special and his practice is one of few that are in this specialized study to do this procedure with such a surgical assistance. This is good news to my nerves. No, not the ones that people get on but the actual nerves endings in that part of my body. The robot is able to see all the nerves and can limit or not allow nerve damage.
I learned that his surgery schedule is 4-6 weeks out. That I have several more steps to go through before going in for surgery.
Dr. H let me know that it would be six weeks before I am able to lift my babies.
Dr. H also told me that most his patients leave the hospital after surgery one at day 3.
That in all the area that I live in that the Methodist Hospital in the loop does the most j pouch surgeries and is the leader in this area.
That my cell slides will be ordered and his pathology and another pathology team will review them. That if there is any discrepancy that I will go in for another colonoscopy with a GI specialist in dysplasia and cancer.
That my bum will need further examining...oh joy. Just what I want. A finger and a tiny camera up my butt while I am awake. Believe you me I told him that I would need some calming drugs. He told me that could be arranged. Hmm can you see this relationship blooming. He actually heard what I said to him. Cant say that to be true of my spouse most of the time.

Most importantly I just felt like I was with the person that I was suppose to be discussing all of this with. I really believe that God kept having me search til we met.
Dr. H is my surgeon and I am happy with this decision.

Praises,
ML

Meeting of Dr. H part 2

Tomorrow late day I will drive myself once again to the medical center to meet Dr. H.
I am hoping he is worth the trip. Ha....my stab at humor.
This week I will also be taking a trip down to MD Anderson to see what they might think about this little situation I find myself in.
I will of course be writing about all of it as the week unfolds.
One thing that I am excited about this coming weekend is this......My parents are coming to town! Oh for that I can not wait!

Stay healthy,
ML

Dr. H a no show

So I drive all the way down to the Medical Center at a earlier appointment time than scheduled because the called to say they had a morning opening and after waiting and waiting in the little exam room I meet a fellow, will call this fellow Dr. M. She was very nice. I was very annoyed at first as I came to meet him. They told me he was called into surgery but than I found out he was gone all next week (which is now this week because I am writing this late). So hmmmm. I am thinking friday was not a surgery but that they didnt know how to tell me that the doctor decided to make a splash into his vacation. Well, the truth might have been good but I suppose it sounds bad to a patient that the "Dr. took the day off."

Dr. M, the fellow, did end up smoothing things over even though I dont think that was her plan. She was very nice and informative. Answered a lot of my questions and understood my concern. This kind fellow also reminded me that we need to get past bridge 1 before trying to get over bridge 10. Well if you know me I always look further than I should so getting over first bridge while not looking at how to get over the 10th will be hard for me.

So needless to say I didnt meet Dr. H but instead built a slight relationship with Dr. M the fellow. Which led this patient, less fired up than when I found out Dr. H wasnt going to see me, made an appointment to come back to meet him on the 13th of July. So I wait another week....honestly I am not in any hurry to have this surgery as I am so apprehensive even though I know it has to be done. Ugh.

Praying for peace of mind,
ML

Off to meet Dr. H tomorrow

Well I am off to interview surgeon #3. Dr. H is down in the medical center and I have hopes that I will have a clear decision after tomorrow on which doctor to choose. I still have a visit to MD Anderson but my mind is feeling like that might not be the place for me. For one I don't have cancer. Just precancerous cells. Two, I don't think they will tell me anything that I don't already know. I am pretty sure because I have already asked the other surgeons and so far the answer is that no surgeon will just cut out the segment of colon that has the tumor.. Three, I feel as if they will tell me that they cant help me even though I had the appointment because they deal with cancer patient.

Dr. H however did complete his general surgery internship at MD Anderson so that does make me feel like he might give me an insight tomorrow on whether or not I should take that last interview there. I am also worried about all these interviews and just how my insurance is going to handle the doctor's fees.

So this week I have been feeling well but nervous and anxious at times.
I so appreciate all the comments; rays of hope/prayers that are being left.

There will be a post tomorrow on the meeting of Dr. H tomorrow so stay tuned and good night.