3 weeks

Three weeks ago I was under the knife. I can hardly believe that its been three weeks.
I have nine weeks until the 12 week mark. The 12 week mark is important because it is then when I have the second surgery!
The only reason it would come sooner is if my skin around the stoma starts to break down.
Let's hope that doesn't happen as I have heard that is very painful.

I have five more weeks until I can pick up my babies and resume life somewhat like I had been use to pre-surgery. The next five weeks is where I feel the most pressure and anxiety. I have come to terms with the 9 weeks of waiting. But I tell you the last few weeks that I haven't been able to be the mommy that they are use to has been a tough road on all of our hearts. Mine, the babies, my husband and my mom. To top it off I have concluded that Travis is teething. His two year molars are bourghing down on the gums and pushing. no signs of break through but the pressure is the hardest part. Molars and I teeth are the worst for little ones. I am pretty sure his will come in back to back as most of his teeth have. He is just really grumpy and cries a lot. At his two year check up the doctor ruled out other issues and agrees that the teeth may be preparing themselves for coming in. Oh the joys of motherhood. But it is even more joyful (I say that in the most sarcastic way) that I cant bounce my boy in my arms and then snuggle up in the comfy chair in his room. Have him lay on top of me and snooze. These five weeks will be really hard. I know they wont remember and blah blah blah but it hurts. It hurts a lot!

Two days. I have 2 days until I see my surgeon. That is always an anxious visit because he is super popular and busy. So waiting during an appointment time is to be expected. But I am hoping he tells me that all is healing from incision areas and that so far so good.


Now, now that I have that off my chest lets see how things are going.
My stoma and belly have shrunk. I hear this is normal and that it will continue to do so. I have ordered supplies and they have yet to arrive. I have a home nurse that is coming twice a week. She is nice but I think she is use to patients that don't talk as much as I do. I had a sub nurse today as mine is taking the week off. She was nice and a talker. This nurse however had instructions that I was to be more hands on with removing my seal and bag today. I am always anxious for these appointments and anxiety could be my middle name. I am a very anxious person. Confident but anxious...always worried and almost never satisfied until it is just right. I guess that's why I had UC is how I use to joke around. So today when I was expected to be hands on was I ever anxious. My heart was RACING!!!! It went well. I was rather impressed with my ability to know and handle the steps. She still did a lot but so did I. My biggest fear is the seal breaking away from my skin and a leak. I understand this may happen. I am pretty sure it may happen and yet I still worry about it. I guess I do because I don't feel 100% at taking everything off and reapplying. So I pray that God blesses me with no leaks and no skin break down. All the while asking him to heal my internal pouch so that I may meet that 12 week mark.

So 9 weeks, 5 weeks and 2 days. Those are my count downs. Praying it goes by fast and gets easier.